God's Answer To A Black Woman's Prayer

Lord, Why Did You Make Me Black…
Why did you make someone the world would hold back? 
Black is the color of dirty clothes, 
Of grimy hands and feet… 
Black is the color of darkness, Of tired beaten streets…
Why did you give me thick lips,
A broad nose and and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone
Who receives the hated stare?
Black is the color of the bruised eye
When someone gets hurt…
Black is the color of darkness,
Black is the color of dirt.
Why is my bone structure so thick,
My hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
And not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I’m useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
And think I should be abused?
Lord, I just don’t understand…
What is it about my skin?
Why it is some people want to hate me
And not know the person within?
Black is what people are “Labeled”
When others want to keep them away…
Black is the color of shadows cast…
Black is the end of the day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
And you know this just ain’t right…
They don’t like my hair; they don’t like my skin, as they say I’m too dark or too light!
Lord, don’t you think It’s time to make a change?
Why don’t you redo creation
And make everyone the same?




God’s Reply: 

Why did I make you black? 
Why did I make you black? I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed…

I made you in the color of oil, 
The black gold which keeps people warm. Your color is the same as the rich dark soil that grows the food you need… 

Your color is the same as the black stallion and panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed! 
All colors of the heavenly rainbow 
Can be found throughout every nation… 
When all these colors are blended, 
You become my greatest creation!
Your hair is the texture of lamb’s wool, 
Such a beautiful creature, is he… 
I am the shepherd who watches them, I will ALWAYS watch over thee! 
You are the color of the midnight sky, I put star glitter in your eyes… 
There’s a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain… 
That’s why your cheeks are so high!
You are the color of dark clouds
From the hurricanes I create in September… 
I made your lips so full and thick, 
So when you kiss… they will remember! 
Your stature is strong, your bone structure thick to withstand the 
Burden of time…
The reflection you see in the mirror, 
That image that looks back, that is MINE! 
So get off your knees, 
Look in the mirror and tell me what you see? I didn’t make you in the image of darkness…
I made you in the image of ME!

  I can still taste you on my lips, still feel the cool evening breeze caressing my hair, the glitters of my shirt on your face, hands and neck...

      I can still feel the heat on my cheeks when you said we were being watched.... For that moment I felt invincible...There was only you and me and the magic of our kiss ...

     We may never kiss again and we may never talk again like we used to, I will never forget that evening breeze fanning my semi-concealed thighs...

     And the way you put your arms around me and held me like nothing else mattered..... If this is what a kiss should be like, then you were my first kiss...

     I remember when we were so close together, our eyes almost colliding, talking but not paying attention....Your kiss is like a rare type of magic ..

     I know I shouldn't have kissed you back, I shouldn't have encouraged it, But I'm glad I did because it was worth every guilt trip.

     I will have to move on and leave you with her, I may never feel anything thing for you, but the memory of your kiss will be ingrained in my body and in my soul for all time.....

                                               ....And when I'm older, married and with kids

                                               ....I'll sip my tea on a sunny Saturday,

                                               ....Lost in Blissful Yesterdays...

The Reason..

It hurts to be away from you..
To know that I cannot reach you,
To come to terms with the fact that I want to be next to you
And to realize I cant.

Its a feeling I don't want to wish on my worst enemy.
Do you know how worried I was?
So I buried my head and my heart into the next best thing,
And I must say it welcomed me with open arms...

And I forgot about the pain and the heartache,
And I tried to have a good time again...
Frankly, I don't know If I feel the same way about you.
And I wish that wasn't the case...

You don't fall in love with someone and shut the person out,
You don't claim you love someone and not give her the chance to love you back.

I have a feeling things will change between us, but I dont want it to.
You should realize that if we are going to be, you have to let me be me.
I'm only human and sometimes I need to breathe...
I dont love you like I used to...
But I will fight for the will to

But as of now, there is smoke in the air
And when it clears out, we will always be here.
Together or apart, I cant really say...
But whatever it is will be better that way

The Feeling

I can't help myself,
I stare,
I touch,
in my world, my finger is the brush, your body is the canvas,
I continue to paint,
touching your skin as light as I can, my touch giving you goose pimples, the feeling, making you shiver,
Its a feeling I can't control,
a feeling I don't want to control,
a feeling I don't want to know how to stop,
a feeling I don't want to try to stop,
Its been too long,
so this is what an attraction means,
exactly like magnets,
I'm trying not to follow you,
this is hard,
its hard to hold back,
I want to be next to you,
but I have to let you be you,
it aches,
I curse this feeling,
why can't I have you just the way I want you?
are you not mine?
am I not yours?
then why can't I possess you the way I want to, anytime I want to.
Your skin,
your scent,
you.
Please don't go.

#NP Drink The Night Away - Tyga F/ The Game & Mario

Desire

Gentle touches,

art in mind,

so I treat her body that way,

every stroke is a new color,

every stroke is divine,

everything that has led to this moment I blame on the intoxicating feeling of love and wine,

the full moon shines bright on her sweaty skin exposing the beads slowly dripping down,

I lose track of everything,

nothing is wrong,

nothing is right,

nothing makes sense anymore,

we are animals for the night.

I've tasted everything,

kissed everything,

made everything produce liquid,

and I've licked and sucked it all.

Her head is tilted back,

the constant pressure and throbbing affects her every movement,

the force jolts her,

every stroke,

a light gasp,

the effect is taking her away,

I bring her back, kiss, lick, nibble, eat,

her body is mine and I'm doing what I want with it.

I take myself lower,

slowly reaching her most sensitive region,

my tongue wants to play,

it moves in my mouth begging to embrace and to be embraced,

finally its let out,

and with every twist, lick and suck,

the moans get louder and louder,

I get deeper and deeper

and she eventually begins to scream and beg,

its intoxicating, her screams,

not too loud, not too silent.

The echoes, the darkness and the moonlight plays a part in this our most natural act.

Her hands quiver, desperately searching for something to grab and hold on to,

and she finds my hair,

she pulls burying her nails in my scalp,

but I don't feel anything amazingly,

the only thing I feel is her want for more, and I am determined to fulfill.

Her words, however incoherent seems to make sense to me,

the slight change of tone in every scream, moan, language tells me to never stop,

and I'm enjoying every nano-second of it,

still working my tongue, fingers, hands, everything to make the next stroke twice as special,

twice as pleasurable,

she is wet,

terribly wet,

I didn't stop until she screamed the words that let me know I had opened the flood gates inside her.

I placed my finger one last time and kissed it goodnight.

Till next time

#np Chris Brown's No Bullshit

Scenes

What happens to the poverty stricken mute of a girl who can't read or write, how does she say those three words to him?

What happens to those that walk with us but cannot be seen, those that once lived?

What happens to the boy that was left behind, the boy that is stuck in the past?

What happens to the people that did not witness the rainbow those three nights?

What happens to the kid that sits there staring at fireworks every new year next to the tombstone?

What happens to the woman that can not remember the best day of her life?

What happens to the Priest that constantly hears the screams of the people he misled?

What happens to the kid that takes refuge in the dark, buried in his own guilt and sorrow?

What happens to you when you look deep into your eyes in the mirror?

What happens to the last words you uttered to them?

What happens to the promises they made, that was their last?

What happens to the old man that sits on the park bench alone but is really sitting amongst his demons?
What happens to the person that can see that?

What happens to the fire-fighter that is afraid of the dark?

What happens to the old woman that says the after life is a life of hurt and unrest.

What happens to the kid that witnesses himself commiting suicide?

What happens to me when I imagine someone death and the person looks like me?

What happens? What happens?

Based on my thoughts, experiences and nightmares

#np Drake's The Resistance

Lets Face it, I'm the Blessed one here... :P

When I stare at your Afro, your big beautiful eyes and your large heart....

I cant help but think, I am so lucky to have you...

When I listen to your conversations on matters of the head and of the heart...

I cant help but think, I am so lucky to have you.

I had no idea I would fall for you, but I was completely blown away when you told me you had fallen for me.

It's been so hard to accept that you love me....

So I am still positive that I'm so lucky to have you.

I wont say Im the best there is and I know I dont deserve you.

But I promise you this, from the bottom of my heart.

I will be whatever you need, to the best of my capability

and I will go the extra mile to be your girl

Because you have already given me the key...

To unlock the seemingly hidden

To break all the barriers

To heal the wounds

To mend your heart.....

And to show you how much love you deserve because you are who you are to me....

So quit being an Idiot and Accept the truth...

I am blessed to have you boo...

D.E.E.

I Can't Hear You

So I'm in class, in my little corner, ears plugged, in my own world, something just made me laugh actually.
They are all huddled together, having a class, practicals I suppose and he touched her bare knee and what did he do after that? He glanced at me in the dark (power cut *Kanye Shrug* go figure LOL) and saw the light from my laptop shine on my face from underneath making me look a bit menacing, like how we put the torch light underneath our faces to make us look really scary, when he noticed I was smiling, he knew I had seen what had just happened and then he respected himself.
There's just something about not being able to hear or say shit that makes you see more, I'm usually like that when I'm in an unfamiliar area around such people, some people tag me an "The uncool kid" (pun intended), a snob, a loner, anti-social and shit, but I really don't give a fuck because whatever I do people will still judge me, whether I smoke hash, drink, party, save the world, whatever, this is related to the main point of "Kodak Moment".
So if I'm gonna be judged when I'm alive by people who are not in such a position to and then die and be judged AGAIN?! FUCK IT! I'm gonna do me and do what I want to do when I want to do it, I can say that because I've been raised as a responsible kid and besides being me is the only thing I know how to do, and it so happens to fuel the really great things about me that a few people are beginning to notice and fully appreciate.
As for that dude, its all good, I saw it wasn't intentional.

#np The Cool Kids' Birthdays 

The Lost Gardens of Heligan

Now don't lie, you know you would run if you came across it.... They are beautiful aren't they???

The FUTURE IS HERE !!!

This is a personal Video I feel You should all see.... Its a beautiful, inspirational song that should open your eyes to see what we have to do in order to move NIGERIA in our own little way.
You see NIGERIA is not moving because we have not personalised NIGERIA'S Progress.
Once you start to live, not as a NIGERIAN, but as NIGERIA, It becomes a less arduous task.
When we love NIGERIA like we love our loved ones, friends and family, We can effortlessly make Nigeria better because of our Love.

 

YouTube - TY Bello - The Future Official Video (We are Nigeria)

...... The dilemmas of a free spirited teenager.....

Im lost..... even the ideas of a blog make me almost nauseated....

Scars

Yes, I like her, the feeling is coming back again. I must admit, I did miss it, someone to think about, to miss, someone to call. It makes me realise how much of a loner I can be atimes.

So NoHomosapien what would you say about her?

I believe that her true self contrdicts her exterior, she's very soft, oh so soft, fragile, harmless, she reminds me of myself, its terrible that somone so harmless has been harmed so many times, like me.
I also believe that one of the things that I find attractive about her is her scars. There's something about me and scars, they seem to make someone more of a human, makes you realise that you aren't perfect and it doesn't have to be physical, when I look at her? I just want to take care of her and make her feel good about herself for the right reasons, not for the reasons she used to. I don't see her like most people do, I just don't, someone so happy and joyful, has so much pain trapped deep in her eyes, don't get me wrong, its not about pity, she's strong enough to hold her own, but trusting enough to let me in. We might be dead opposites, but when it comes to a personal level? We are one and the same.
She hasn't really understood that I can see these things, and  I've been through them, being insecure is mind crippling, its something I've been fighting and fighting with, its hard to keep it down when some random girl laughs at you and says, "Jennifer are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
I understand these things. I've been treated like I have a problem, so I end up swearing a lot, keeping to myself, working hard towards my goals so I can feel a lot better about myself.
I just don't want her to feel good off something that she shouldn't be, because getting attention is intoxicating.
I'm still not sure about what she thinks about me, I feel like she's not one to say such but still she inspires me in some way.

Inspired by Chris Brown's "Beautiful People"

#NP Drake's "Paris Morton Music"

This is how my baby must look, by fire or by force :P

Isn't he just the cutest???

I LOVE YOU T.M.B. <3

Treading on Fire and Ice with feet that feel....

Is what I do sometimes... It may be painful, it may be sweet
But the best part is the memory of the feelings....
and the lessons learnt !!

No Edits

I'm gonna freestyle this one, no edits, no second looks, no correction, nothing, fuck it.
So 'Rey you have hurt 3 girls within 3 weeks what's wrong with you now? what have you become, I know what is going on it has been taking my life and basically throwing it up and down but its a tough thing to deal with, failure, even when you succeeded, you took it out on J, u took out on chinelo and you done the same thing with uche, I know you're a good kid but you can't let failure bring you down, I know its your life hanging but there are people that really care and love you, and you've just been hurting them, I mean look at J, u guys have been friends for over 8 years, you guys dated at first and we don't know what happened after that then you recently asked her inappropriate questions about that time, who gives a fuck about who she was with, she's with you now! and she has always supported u, think about your really bad times, bad break ups.
Now there's Uche, why did you have to do that ehn? I dunno what to do now, I'm onlyy writing this because I feel something in the pit of my stomach thats making me feel very weak and I there are so many things going round my mind, I just have to let it out, and i didn't want to put this on the internet but i know she'll read this.
Let me be honest here, yes it was directed at you and only you, I mean you've been talking to me about God and stuff and not swearing  and all but your whole persona contradicts it, and then I saw u leave wt dapo, dt jst sealed it, I am soooo not judgemental but for goodness sake be real with me what are you about are u straight laced or not!? look you would be surprised at how ashamed and upset i am and i swear im not gonna stop until I get everyfng bk to d way it was yesterday. and yes I'm beginning to like you, can u imagine, i came to to this place to learn what i wanted to and bail. i remember telling peter that something was telling me that something like this will happen, i really didn't want this. or i dunno maybe its good that ds happened because its just sealed it for me... i like u.. i understand if u aren't gonna talk to me but im nt gonna stop until we get bak to where we were even if i have to make a scene in that place i swear i will........uche, it hurts that i said that, bearly knowing you, but i really hope u understand wr im coming. I was so angry when i was typing that because d person that i thought i wd learn something moral from is doing some ish, look i dunno i probably gona post this and never look at it again, my weekend is gonna be unbearable and don't think for a second that i won't fight to be heared or to have a chance to properly apologise to you face-to-face.... uche im sorry, im not like the others and u know that i just want u to be real with me.... and iv never said anything about you to anybody in that place to be honest d only people i like are peter and patrick, well ive known peter for over 6 years but patrick is very ok.... well 3.... u. cos u see even though i have mixed feelings about you/ one thing cannot be denied u r a good person, im sorry uche, im so sorry

......THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER......

.....THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER PART 3.....
FIRE

Oh wow... When I think about Fire I dont even know what to say.....
I'm filled with the craziest mix of feelings!!!.... He has so much energy and so much vitality....
His mind is so alive and so active, its inspiring....

And His facial expressions and body language are both amusing and compelling.... His personality intoxicates me.
He isn't the kinda guy you like for his physical attributes....(He is Dead cute by the way )..... but his character has a uniqueness that is so attractive, its almost magnetic.

I don't know him a lot, but I definitely know enough to see that I wanna know more about this mysterious and absolutely adorable individual :)

......THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER......

......THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER PART 2......

WHIRLWIND......

Geez that boy is the sweetest thing since Chocolate!! And I think he may be the one I have fallen for ultimately. 
He has got the cutest expressions and a lover's touch. According to him, when he falls for a girl, she knows.
I think he has fallen for me, his expressions, words, body language and smiles say he's hooked on me....

But I can almost swear that I see a different thing sometimes in his eyes... Its like he wants me to believe he likes me, so that he can get to do stuff with me. He's always so touchy touchy and the PDA is destructive...

I know a part of me has fallen for his charm, but the other is desperately trying to pick it up. Its a lot of mixed emotions with him... cuz for one , a lot of girls are on his P... even some shameless babe sent him pictures of her naked boobs (N)... That he still has it gives me the hugest doubts.

But I know one thing.... when I see him, my heart does a little somersault and he makes me look back at him whenever he leaves a room.

......THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER......

Its hard for me to accept the notion that I am "HOT" ..... And its also a lot of work dealing with guys who are simultaneously intensely attracted to me without hurting anyone's ego....

Its a real bummer, having to deal with myself when I found out that I happen to like more than one of them.......

But the worst part is having all 3 of them under the same roof with me for 6 hours every weekday !

......THE DILEMMAS OF A FREE SPIRITED TEENAGER PART 1......

EARTH....

My goodness His body is HAWWWTTTTT!!!!! and HARD if I do say so myself....**chuckle** .... The first thing I noticed about him is that he has the cutest smile... and those teeth.....gorgeous!!

I guess U'd think I was infatuated with him, but Im not, He is the most caring, understanding HOT guy Ive met in a while. Usually guys that hot are Jerks and he knocks that impression off my mind with a flash of his Megawatt smile.
I don't really think that I'm pretty enough for him to give a damn about me, but the way he treats me is wonderful!! Guarded, cautious, not wanting to step on the wrong pedals, plus he is Funny and has never asked me to Kiss him despite the fact that he has told me he wants me. I like him too, but I still am not sure he likes me as much as he says he does, so I am cautious with him.

But I tell you if that guy's body touches mine in any intimate way.. (hug included) I will melt like butter in heat !!!

The Dirty Flower

You are so funny, I wonder if you knew I could see through your bullshit? You can fool NoHomosapien but not me, because he is the hopeless romantic and I'm far fom that. I mean COME ON! I know girls like you!, you see but the real funny bit is that you really believed you were fooling me, from the bullshit righteous talk, to the bullshit you would whisper in my ear. I always knew you were full of shit, I mean females are just fascinating aren't they? With their various shades and faces and shit, but I have to be honest it was really sexy the way you whispered in my ear seducing me to follow you to the restroom, "come with me" you said.
My problem is, why pretend? If you are a free spirited girl, FINE! BE YOURSELF! CUT THE BULLSHIT TRICK!!! I'm very open-minded and accepting, I certainly wouldn't judge you,
what you are trying to hide WE ALL KNOW.
What WE just DID together along with all that fake shit you were doing before that, will not change the respect & love I have for you and every other female.

#NP Kid CuDi's Soundtrack 2 My Life

Hazy Thoughts

As I take a drag from my blunt and blow ever so slowly into the air, I watch the movement of the smoke, slow and mesmerizing and I am reminded of her. Deville was her name, dark skinned, amazing lips, oh so thick, thighs to die for, but this isn't really about her its about "the day".
Dirty text messages were sent back and forth the previous night, expressing love and need for eachother, I remember her sending me beautiful but revealing pictures of her tagged " lol xoxo (v) :* " I chuckle and smile at the thought, it kept me waiting for the day to arrive faster.
The day finally arrived and I was at her door, very calm indeed. Then what seemed to be a familiar face greeted me, beaming, she screamed my name, the thought still humbles me till this this day, I guess the meaning of my name is true. As I stood there smiling calmly at the amazing creature that never let me forget that she was mine, I thought to myself "how in the world did you get her?". I stared at her face for what seemed like hours, her smile seemed to fascinate me, I continued to stare until I was brought back to what still didn't seem like reality.
After a light conversation and a little boondocks she finally made her way next to me, I was still very calm, well thanks to a certain plant, I motioned to her to lay down, and she did obediently, for once I actually believed she was mine. She layed down gently and rested her pretty head on my thighs, I sat there still staring at this truely gorgeous female studying every inch of her face, while she watched the tele, I still wonder what was going through her mind at that moment in time, then she suddenly looked at me, caught, I smiled, she blushed.
I gently kissed her birth mark that she was so insecure about and I told her "the scar can't do anything to harm that pretty face", as she blushed I began to unlock every part of her body, gently kissing her forehead, cheek, neck, cleavage, by that time her whole body was quivering, I chuckled at the effect of my light, innocent touch. As she gently undressed me I realised she wasn't wearing any underwear, I laughed as she gently led me to the bed and slowly made her way down my body, I tilted my head back while I curled my toes in sheer pleasure and that was all, I guess I went into auto-pilot after that.
After our time together, came my favourite part of my visit "the pillow talk". Words were said so light but had so much weight, I remember her telling me I didn't deserve her, she told me this many times before, so I told her, "if you don't deserve me, then I guess its me that deserves you" she kept quiet and very still, staring into my eyes, tears welling up in hers I almost thought she was looking at something inside my brain box. She began to speak, well it seemed like it, I couldn't hear anything, but I saw her lips moving and I noticed there was a cut there, it looked like she had been biting it, in some weird way it made her look really sexy, everything was so slow, I was wondering what I.R. Douchebag had put in my bag to smoke, my mind continued to twirl until "NoHomosapien???" I suddenly snapped out of it, not because she said my name but it finally clicked.
After a few painful words I sealed my visit, whispering a quote from a book I had read in her ear and I left her there naked, sweaty, ashamed, curled into a ball shivering. The low sound of her gentle sobs still haunt me till this day.
Shit. my smoke just went out.

#Playlist KiD CuDi's Whenever
             KiD CuDi's Pillow Talk

L o v e

What is Love?

Well, There are 2;

Love & Love

[One]

This Love is neither Beauty

Nor Trust!

Or Peace!

This Love is not a Unity!

Love is not a One!

It is the not Strength & Breath!

It is the Earth!

It is more!

Love is Diverse!

It is Infinite!

More than a Nation!

Greater than Time in its Reverse

Love is Salvation!

Love is the Universe!

Love is the Truth

Love is Life!

Yes..

Not surprisingly, Love Is Everything!

[Two]

but even more importantly, Love is Nothing.

this Love is Worse than nothing.

It is empty!

Fruitless!

Its a Hurt!

Its a Living Death!

A broken promise..

A bringer of Doubt

Pain & Depression

One which holds sorrow!

The Sadness it Carries

The Blood it has split

The Hatred it Spawns

Love is another Burden

For the heart to bear

to break apart..

To wear & tear

Woes & Fear!

One that will leave its mark..Forever!

By Itself Love is another word.

One the mouth can afford

An utter & A sound..

Only Heard but never Found!

this Love is 'l o v e'

..& nothing more!

is Deep Within

past the Heartbeat & Rhythm

Without a shadow of a doubt

yet shines through the body

& reveals Itself in Life!

It can been seen.

It is Tangible.

It is Simple.

Love is a Knowing.

Anyone can say 'I Love You'

Someone will believe its True

I'd rather You Never say It

I'd rather I just Knew.

LoVE iS WhaT YOu Do.

Hi I'm 'Rey. Hi I'm Douchebag. Hi I'm NoHomosapien

"Sometimes I feel like Faustus;
Over ambitious.
Though I can not be blamed,
for what it stems from is the pain.
Pain from your actions,
an inner hunger for success builds in fractions,
with every whisper, snigger and mock,
it grows.
I willfully eat my pride,
until the flame is ignited
turning into an inferno.
As green flames begin to burn you from the inside out
then will you realise.
Some of us are born with the potential to be great"

#NP "The Race" by Wiz Khalifa

I'm 'Rey & I've got alter egos. Enough said.

So I hope Faridah is okay.....

Well, I didn't get into Princeton or Duke.......

Major major blow for me and I must confess I am a little miffed....

But do I still love GOD.... HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I still Trust in HIS ability to lift me up from even the most difficult situations?... YES!!!!!

Will I still pray to Him every morning noon and night ??? ..... MOST DEFINITELY!!!!

I just hope Faridah is okay, Its really devastating for her, but more than ever I pray for the grace to be able to let go of this setback... GOD will give her comfort ..AMEN!!!

Ive spoken to my mum about it and she's okay :)
Harvard too is coming out soon though....

GOD will show Himself strong and do that which He says He will do :)
And everything will work in my Favour :)

So I promised her I would not do this, but its for my blog **Mischievious Smile**

So because I respect my close friend's privacy I'm going to code both her name and the important places... But, judging from where this story is heading, I think its going to be sensational for my daily feed. So basically its this free spirited, fun talented girl named Wind; she is in a new school and has been there for a couple of weeks now and things are starting to heat up: Tension, rivalry, attraction, laughs, and all the condiments necessary for a total gossip package !!! 

Im so sorry Wind, I just couldn't help it, BUT.......

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME .......... XOXO 

Am I BeAuTiFuL ?? :(

One of the hardest things I've had to believe is that I am pretty, or at least people think I am pretty. I mean right from time, Ive always been told I was quite the opposite and I've been told in the most SUBTLE ways!!....

Well, there's my sister: She's the beautiful one of the 3 of us and she never let me forget in my younger days that my eyes were too big and my nose ginormous; that my lips were too large and I talked disgusting; that my feet were too big and I ate like a pig; worst of all that I begged every boy to like me and I was a P***##@%@&. Yep!!! she did all that. So you can imagine me at age 9, looking in the mirror and never wanting to look at it again. 

Then there's mummy dearest: She called me everything from a Hippo to an Elephant. It wasn't easy enduring that at age 13 so when people tell me my mother loves me, I nod now and dispute it in private.

And then my Rainbow College days: Those where the making and breaking days of my life as a teenager. When the pretty people looked down on you and called you Ugly, you just knew that somehow being ugly would be your stigma for life; and with a bad case of ACNE that looked like it would last forever and low cut, life didn't get any terrible.

So you see, when, after a few months of after school, people tell me I'm pretty I try to believe it, but its the hardest thing to do. Now I'm starting to accept that when I look at the mirror, the face I see isn't so Ugly, but pretty?.... I'm not so sure.

DO YOU think I'm pretty?

..... I just saw this on my friend's Blog and I thought it wud be great !!!

 

 TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE ! AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE ". THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?" THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,A DAY TO LOVE THEM,BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM. SEND THIS TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET. I JUST DID. IF YOU DON'T SEND IT TO ANYONE, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS. TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE! AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK, THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE ":) this message was sent as a BC to me one of those BC's that actually made a lot of sense I wanted to share it with y'all if you have a friend like this you should keep them close to your heart a friend will tell you the truth when other ppl won't a tell will tell u you are saying rubbish when other people bob their heads and agree with you appreciate your friends today tell them you love them by words or actions....you are my friend and I love you :D tell this to your friends if they really are your friends cause you don't know tomorrow they will not be here forever.....we all have to die one day!!!! I love all ma friends :) <3 a lot......:*

So Im A lIl dIsCoUrAgEd..... :(

So the moment I made this blog... I was afraid, like many other authors, that I wouldn't have followers and the whole blog thing wont last at all... I also thought that I wouldn't be able to attract as many authors who have that flair for writing poems, or even Gospel articles....

So I'm thinking: While I bring reality and life issues, Someone else (UDI I hope) will bring in art and classic poetry, He's SOO TALENTED :D; Niibella, my darling would bring in Words of Hope and Gospel stuff, cuz she actually loves HIM. And then as many people as can be authors, they would also advertise this page so that it would be popular in some ways.

I guess its a little too early in the life of my Blog to be Discouraged.... So I'm remaining OPTIMISTIC. :)

Okay So tHiS iS rEaLlY sTaRtInG tO fEeL wEiRd.... :/

So my mum joined Facebook and I guess I really didn't think I'd have to do anything, I mean when I joined, no one helped me out. I pretty much figured a lot of the features myself. Today, she asked me to teach her how to "navigate" Facebook and in my mind, I'm like huh???....... Next thing she's looking at my tweet deck page and asking me if she can join twitter... I mean MUM!!!! You haven't even gotten the hang of FB now you want twitter?? 

Okay so you might be thinking, she doesn't love her mum, but I actually do. Its just that there are somethings that don't feel right.... par exemple: My ma commenting on my photo and saying "Why did you put this picture, your breasts are showing...." yup she can actually do that!! 

When she gets on twitter and begins to tweet??? That will be the day. 

She's great as she is.... no funky moves needed.... I love you momma!