Hazy Thoughts

As I take a drag from my blunt and blow ever so slowly into the air, I watch the movement of the smoke, slow and mesmerizing and I am reminded of her. Deville was her name, dark skinned, amazing lips, oh so thick, thighs to die for, but this isn't really about her its about "the day".
Dirty text messages were sent back and forth the previous night, expressing love and need for eachother, I remember her sending me beautiful but revealing pictures of her tagged " lol xoxo (v) :* " I chuckle and smile at the thought, it kept me waiting for the day to arrive faster.
The day finally arrived and I was at her door, very calm indeed. Then what seemed to be a familiar face greeted me, beaming, she screamed my name, the thought still humbles me till this this day, I guess the meaning of my name is true. As I stood there smiling calmly at the amazing creature that never let me forget that she was mine, I thought to myself "how in the world did you get her?". I stared at her face for what seemed like hours, her smile seemed to fascinate me, I continued to stare until I was brought back to what still didn't seem like reality.
After a light conversation and a little boondocks she finally made her way next to me, I was still very calm, well thanks to a certain plant, I motioned to her to lay down, and she did obediently, for once I actually believed she was mine. She layed down gently and rested her pretty head on my thighs, I sat there still staring at this truely gorgeous female studying every inch of her face, while she watched the tele, I still wonder what was going through her mind at that moment in time, then she suddenly looked at me, caught, I smiled, she blushed.
I gently kissed her birth mark that she was so insecure about and I told her "the scar can't do anything to harm that pretty face", as she blushed I began to unlock every part of her body, gently kissing her forehead, cheek, neck, cleavage, by that time her whole body was quivering, I chuckled at the effect of my light, innocent touch. As she gently undressed me I realised she wasn't wearing any underwear, I laughed as she gently led me to the bed and slowly made her way down my body, I tilted my head back while I curled my toes in sheer pleasure and that was all, I guess I went into auto-pilot after that.
After our time together, came my favourite part of my visit "the pillow talk". Words were said so light but had so much weight, I remember her telling me I didn't deserve her, she told me this many times before, so I told her, "if you don't deserve me, then I guess its me that deserves you" she kept quiet and very still, staring into my eyes, tears welling up in hers I almost thought she was looking at something inside my brain box. She began to speak, well it seemed like it, I couldn't hear anything, but I saw her lips moving and I noticed there was a cut there, it looked like she had been biting it, in some weird way it made her look really sexy, everything was so slow, I was wondering what I.R. Douchebag had put in my bag to smoke, my mind continued to twirl until "NoHomosapien???" I suddenly snapped out of it, not because she said my name but it finally clicked.
After a few painful words I sealed my visit, whispering a quote from a book I had read in her ear and I left her there naked, sweaty, ashamed, curled into a ball shivering. The low sound of her gentle sobs still haunt me till this day.
Shit. my smoke just went out.

#Playlist KiD CuDi's Whenever
             KiD CuDi's Pillow Talk

L o v e

What is Love?

Well, There are 2;

Love & Love

[One]

This Love is neither Beauty

Nor Trust!

Or Peace!

This Love is not a Unity!

Love is not a One!

It is the not Strength & Breath!

It is the Earth!

It is more!

Love is Diverse!

It is Infinite!

More than a Nation!

Greater than Time in its Reverse

Love is Salvation!

Love is the Universe!

Love is the Truth

Love is Life!

Yes..

Not surprisingly, Love Is Everything!

[Two]

but even more importantly, Love is Nothing.

this Love is Worse than nothing.

It is empty!

Fruitless!

Its a Hurt!

Its a Living Death!

A broken promise..

A bringer of Doubt

Pain & Depression

One which holds sorrow!

The Sadness it Carries

The Blood it has split

The Hatred it Spawns

Love is another Burden

For the heart to bear

to break apart..

To wear & tear

Woes & Fear!

One that will leave its mark..Forever!

By Itself Love is another word.

One the mouth can afford

An utter & A sound..

Only Heard but never Found!

this Love is 'l o v e'

..& nothing more!

is Deep Within

past the Heartbeat & Rhythm

Without a shadow of a doubt

yet shines through the body

& reveals Itself in Life!

It can been seen.

It is Tangible.

It is Simple.

Love is a Knowing.

Anyone can say 'I Love You'

Someone will believe its True

I'd rather You Never say It

I'd rather I just Knew.

LoVE iS WhaT YOu Do.

Hi I'm 'Rey. Hi I'm Douchebag. Hi I'm NoHomosapien

"Sometimes I feel like Faustus;
Over ambitious.
Though I can not be blamed,
for what it stems from is the pain.
Pain from your actions,
an inner hunger for success builds in fractions,
with every whisper, snigger and mock,
it grows.
I willfully eat my pride,
until the flame is ignited
turning into an inferno.
As green flames begin to burn you from the inside out
then will you realise.
Some of us are born with the potential to be great"

#NP "The Race" by Wiz Khalifa

I'm 'Rey & I've got alter egos. Enough said.

So I hope Faridah is okay.....

Well, I didn't get into Princeton or Duke.......

Major major blow for me and I must confess I am a little miffed....

But do I still love GOD.... HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I still Trust in HIS ability to lift me up from even the most difficult situations?... YES!!!!!

Will I still pray to Him every morning noon and night ??? ..... MOST DEFINITELY!!!!

I just hope Faridah is okay, Its really devastating for her, but more than ever I pray for the grace to be able to let go of this setback... GOD will give her comfort ..AMEN!!!

Ive spoken to my mum about it and she's okay :)
Harvard too is coming out soon though....

GOD will show Himself strong and do that which He says He will do :)
And everything will work in my Favour :)

So I promised her I would not do this, but its for my blog **Mischievious Smile**

So because I respect my close friend's privacy I'm going to code both her name and the important places... But, judging from where this story is heading, I think its going to be sensational for my daily feed. So basically its this free spirited, fun talented girl named Wind; she is in a new school and has been there for a couple of weeks now and things are starting to heat up: Tension, rivalry, attraction, laughs, and all the condiments necessary for a total gossip package !!! 

Im so sorry Wind, I just couldn't help it, BUT.......

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME .......... XOXO 

Am I BeAuTiFuL ?? :(

One of the hardest things I've had to believe is that I am pretty, or at least people think I am pretty. I mean right from time, Ive always been told I was quite the opposite and I've been told in the most SUBTLE ways!!....

Well, there's my sister: She's the beautiful one of the 3 of us and she never let me forget in my younger days that my eyes were too big and my nose ginormous; that my lips were too large and I talked disgusting; that my feet were too big and I ate like a pig; worst of all that I begged every boy to like me and I was a P***##@%@&. Yep!!! she did all that. So you can imagine me at age 9, looking in the mirror and never wanting to look at it again. 

Then there's mummy dearest: She called me everything from a Hippo to an Elephant. It wasn't easy enduring that at age 13 so when people tell me my mother loves me, I nod now and dispute it in private.

And then my Rainbow College days: Those where the making and breaking days of my life as a teenager. When the pretty people looked down on you and called you Ugly, you just knew that somehow being ugly would be your stigma for life; and with a bad case of ACNE that looked like it would last forever and low cut, life didn't get any terrible.

So you see, when, after a few months of after school, people tell me I'm pretty I try to believe it, but its the hardest thing to do. Now I'm starting to accept that when I look at the mirror, the face I see isn't so Ugly, but pretty?.... I'm not so sure.

DO YOU think I'm pretty?

..... I just saw this on my friend's Blog and I thought it wud be great !!!

 

 TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE ! AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE ". THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?" THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,A DAY TO LOVE THEM,BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM. SEND THIS TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET. I JUST DID. IF YOU DON'T SEND IT TO ANYONE, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS. TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE! AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK, THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE ":) this message was sent as a BC to me one of those BC's that actually made a lot of sense I wanted to share it with y'all if you have a friend like this you should keep them close to your heart a friend will tell you the truth when other ppl won't a tell will tell u you are saying rubbish when other people bob their heads and agree with you appreciate your friends today tell them you love them by words or actions....you are my friend and I love you :D tell this to your friends if they really are your friends cause you don't know tomorrow they will not be here forever.....we all have to die one day!!!! I love all ma friends :) <3 a lot......:*

So Im A lIl dIsCoUrAgEd..... :(

So the moment I made this blog... I was afraid, like many other authors, that I wouldn't have followers and the whole blog thing wont last at all... I also thought that I wouldn't be able to attract as many authors who have that flair for writing poems, or even Gospel articles....

So I'm thinking: While I bring reality and life issues, Someone else (UDI I hope) will bring in art and classic poetry, He's SOO TALENTED :D; Niibella, my darling would bring in Words of Hope and Gospel stuff, cuz she actually loves HIM. And then as many people as can be authors, they would also advertise this page so that it would be popular in some ways.

I guess its a little too early in the life of my Blog to be Discouraged.... So I'm remaining OPTIMISTIC. :)

Okay So tHiS iS rEaLlY sTaRtInG tO fEeL wEiRd.... :/

So my mum joined Facebook and I guess I really didn't think I'd have to do anything, I mean when I joined, no one helped me out. I pretty much figured a lot of the features myself. Today, she asked me to teach her how to "navigate" Facebook and in my mind, I'm like huh???....... Next thing she's looking at my tweet deck page and asking me if she can join twitter... I mean MUM!!!! You haven't even gotten the hang of FB now you want twitter?? 

Okay so you might be thinking, she doesn't love her mum, but I actually do. Its just that there are somethings that don't feel right.... par exemple: My ma commenting on my photo and saying "Why did you put this picture, your breasts are showing...." yup she can actually do that!! 

When she gets on twitter and begins to tweet??? That will be the day. 

She's great as she is.... no funky moves needed.... I love you momma!